


Forget it

by Stray_Cupcake



Series: Still Alive [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A million kpop references, Angst with a Happy Ending, Every idol ever makes a cameo for two seconds, Ghosts, Grim Reapers, Like you only see them for a few seconds, Literally the same universe except the plot is different, M/M, Minor Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin, TRIGGER WARNINGS: overdosing and suicide, Until the last chapters, Woojin owns a chicken shop, based off the drama Goblin, mostly soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:35:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stray_Cupcake/pseuds/Stray_Cupcake
Summary: Minho’s lonely. Jisung could tell.Apparently it wasn’t always like that, something rather surprising considering how alone most grim reapers tended to be. Enter Jisung, newest grim reaper under Minho’s teachings and supervisions, content with learning until he got curious.Why does it feel like Minho’s hiding things from him? How did he really die? And most importantly, who was Han Jisung?





	1. Welcome to death

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by my favourite pre-debut Stay Marjaan but dedicated to my wife. (You know who you are~) Oh, and Hi Yasmin (sleeptalkingjr).

_“I’m dead, right?”_

_A bitter laugh escaped the man, aggressively chewing his chocolate muffin as Chan sipped his espresso. He exhaled with relish, looking up at the other with slight regret as he watched the crumbs occasionally spray out his mouth like an angry blue whale. Delightful._

_Chan traced his fingers on the edges of his black hat, eyes drifting to the clock that was lazily ticking away and silently cursing as he began to listen to the ramble spurting out of the other’s mouth._

_“But you see, I’m eating a chocolate and banana muffin,” He declared, flinging it around carelessly, crumbs scattering even more on the table, “Except that shouldn’t be allowed because I am very, very allergic to bana-”_

_His sentence ended in a sick lurch, his hands immediately flinging to his mouth and startling Chan enough to force him on his feet. Chan’s hands pathetically flapped around in a confused attempt to help when a peculiar grumble filled the brief silence. It temporarily distracted them both as the two stared at the young man’s stomach that had began to unnaturally growl._

_“Why? Why would you do that?” Chan pitifully wailed, awkwardly patting his shoulder as he  began to gag._

_“I thought I was dead!” He began, trying to justify his actions._

_“It doesn’t work that way because you’re not a ghost! You’re a-”_

_He was quickly pushed towards the toilets, allowing Chan to sink into his seat, exhausted from their barely ten minute meeting. He offered forced smiles at the stares that had began to linger in his direction, not noticing Minho walk in._

_“So, where’s the newbie?”_

 

 

“Hey, give me a name.”

Minho raised an eyebrow at the other, narrowing his eyes slightly before burrowing his head back in the paperwork that scattered across his desk in daunting piles. He ignored the whine that quickly followed, jumping at the thump of the other’s head collapsing on his desk.

“I need to do my work,” He sighed, poking at the younger’s face with the end of his pen, “Your head on the paperwork is messing up my system. You don’t know how many different _Minhyuk's_ and _Minseok's_ there are.”

The head remained in its place, eyes staring harshly at Minho almost accusingly.

“But _you_ have a name. Why can’t _I_ have one?”

The older and now slightly more irritated man sighed, silently praying to any existing deity for some silence. But the yapping kept going on and on. He felt as if he was being watched by them through a television screen, consuming an unhealthy amount of popcorn as they all laughed at his misfortunes. Well, current misfortune.

“What… What about Jisung?”

There was a brief pause before a giant smile engulfed the younger boy’s face, nodding so enthusiastically that Minho was certain that his head would roll off at some point.

“I like it. Jisung. It has a nice ring to it.”

Something twitched in Minho. Something entirely human that filled his body as he watched Jisung skip off singing his name. He couldn't label this strange new emotion, but it bothered him.

He hadn’t felt human in a very long time. But to his defence, he wasn’t one.

 

 

_“So, the newbie. Where is he…?”_

_Chan raised his head from his hands, a glare resting on his face as his gaze briefly wandered to the male toilets with suspicious retching noises escaping through the doors._

_“You’re late,” He grumbled, piercing a weak glare through Minho who sunk in the chair opposite him. Minho offered a brief laugh, trying to dilute the tenseness in the atmosphere as best as he could._

_“There was some traffic,” He explained, fiddling with his black hat, “I just assumed that you’d be fine with ten minutes with the new… Stop giving me that look, you’re scaring me.”_

_“I am so glad you’re the one in charge of him now.”_

_Minho snorted at Chan’s reaction, relaxing immediately as they fell into easy conversation.  He hadn’t talked with his friend in what felt like an eternity. Recently, he had been swamped with work, covering so much more paperwork than usual and taking on jobs that required him to travel across Seoul throughout the day._

_“Finally, they’re cutting down the amount of work I have to do.” He smiled as he began to sip on his own freshly ordered cup of coffee, trying not to be bothered by the three empty cups by Chan’s side, “I mean, it’s just a new reaper, I see them all the time.  How hard could it actually be to train one?”_

_Finally the toilet door swung open, revealing someone who was panting heavily, a light bead of sweat peeking through his fringe that draped stylishly over his forehead._

_“I think I was sick enough for it go away- never mind.”_

_Chan glanced at Minho, triumphant in getting his point across until he noticed the other stiffen. Neither of them seemed very bothered about the vomiting or the stink eye the manager begun to direct at them._

_“Hey, are you…?”_

_The look on his face spoke more than he could ever say._

_“Oh.”_

 

 

The wind hummed lightly as the pair waited outside the old apartment, it’s large shadow towering over them as it shaded both Minho and Jisung from the sunlight. Jisung had finally stopped whining to Minho’s relief, unexpectedly focused on the small card in his hand.

“It says two past ten,” He pointed at the printed writing, frowning, “Where is she? Do you think there’s some sort of a-”

Someone screamed, making Jisung jump as Minho immediately began to move closer to the small crowd that had begun to form. The younger trailed after him, unable to dismiss the sobbing woman crouched over and clutching a limp body.

“T-that’s impossible.”

Jisung turned, eyes widening a fraction and mouth gaping open at the sight of the person in front of him. His new, black hat threatened to fall off as he swung his head back and forth, staring at how similar both this woman and the one on the ground looked. Same clothes, same hair, same smudged lipstick…

“Kim Da Hyun?” Minho’s voice cut through the air expertly. When the woman nodded hesitantly, his expression remained unchanged, “I’m sorry. Death by cardiac arrest.”

They watched her for a while, calling out for a woman, presumably the one who was clinging on helplessly to her body- her real body- as tears began to roll down her own face at the reality of the situation

They had left the moment an ambulance appeared, the other woman begging the paramedics if her sister had any chance of survival.

“What’s this?”

Da Hyun stared at the small cup that lay on the table in front of her, reluctant to touch it as Minho nudged it in her direction. Wind howled in the room, filling the silence and merging with the dripping of an unclosed tap. Jisung watched the encounter eagerly, eyes drifting to his surroundings every now and then, truly amazed. 

“This will remove any memories from this life as you enter the next one.”

He watched her fingers curl into fists, her head shaking slightly.

“It’ll take away all the pain. Trust me.”

As soon as she had left, the door on the end of the room closed quickly. Minho picked up her empty cup and walked past Jisung who had opened his mouth to speak.

“Wow, so that’s going to be my job now? I’m going to be a proper grim reaper? Not like those weird Halloween knock offs but a real one?”

The cup was placed on a single square shelf, one among millions covering the entirety of the endless wall that stretched so far upwards it descended into darkness. The cups in them were uniquely designed, all ornate and delicate looking but refusing to collect any dust.

Minho placed his hat on the table and filled a kettle with some water to brew some coffee as he sat back down, placing his hat on the table and facing Jisung who mimicked his actions.

“What about these hats?” He asked, “Do you think I can personalise mine? I don’t like how dully it’s designed. Most likely not even in season.”

“What?” Minho sputtered, speechless for a few seconds, “These hats aren’t for fashion purposes! They’re for making sure none of the humans can see us guiding the dead away!”

“But-”

“New rule: You’re only allowed to speak if you’re going to ask useful questions.”

Jisung remained quiet for a while, head bowed low before he rose it slowly. Something new shone in his eyes, resembling confusion but far more similar to fear. It unnerved Minho enough to nearly ask for the useless rambling back.

“Hyung,” He began, gulping, “I can remember what I like and what I don’t like. I remember how to read and write, but why can’t I remember who I am?”

The kettle screeched in the background, seemingly unheard for a while before Minho rose to make his hot drink.

“I boiled extra water. Want some coffee?”

Searching eyes furrowed as Jisung forced down the unanswered question.

“Yeah, sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... hoping that was interesting...


	2. Memories

Jisung swung his legs back and forth lazily, bored as he watched Minho scribble on the last unsigned document and lean back in  relief. They had spent around an hour or so in his office, something Jisung loved to explore in. He was told that after he was taught the basics (so roughly two months), he would gain his own office, filled with it’s own endless walls with shelves and tiny teacups. Just the thought of it made Jisung determined to learn as fast as possible

“Hyung,” He called out, drawing out the ‘u’ as he jumped out of his seat, “When are we going to see Changbin and Felix again?”

He received a groan in response, grinning when Minho turned and just stared. The older regretted introducing him to his tiny friend, and in turn the sunshine that followed him aimlessly. Although, they did make an interesting pair.

Whereas Changbin was adorably short ( “I am _not_ short, I’m just vertically challenged.” ) and had a dark aura trail him like a shadow, the other was tall (well, next to Changbin) and somehow bright in his black clothes. Felix constantly glanced at the shorter man, tweaking his every movements to copy him and failing to discreetly sneak awed glances at his mentor.

“You literally spent the afternoon with them yesterday,” Minho began, ignoring the whine that escaped Jisung, “What reason could you possibly have that could convince me to see them again?”

“But Felix is my best friend…”

Minho groaned tiredly, “You met him two days ago.”

Their conversation was cut when they heard it. The little flutter of the wind chimes whenever a note appeared. They both turned at the same time, staring at the small, white card but Minho realised first.

“Oh. This one’s yours.”

  


 

The hospital was a regular day in work for most reapers, visiting so often that it seemed to have a calming atmosphere to them. Most, if not all, new reaper’s first cases tended to be in them, so it seemed natural that Jisung’s was as well.

Strangely, Minho was the one visibly uncomfortable, his eyes dancing about and his poker face cracking occasionally. He stuck closely to Jisung, following him up the empty staircases wordlessly.

“Have you been here before Hyung?” Jisung asked, the silence between them deafening to him, “Felix told me that every reaper goes to this place at least once, and that sometimes they can even see us. Is that actually true?”

“Yeah.” He answered, awkwardly blunt in all his answers.

Eventually they arrived on the highest floor of the patients section, eerily empty in the middle of the day. The walls were a hospital white, the only light coming through a large window at the end of the hallway, all the doors shut… apart from one.

“Room 9D…” Jisung muttered under his breath, slowly pushing the door open a little wider and poking his head through the gap, “Hello? Is anyone here…? Anyone here who  died recently…? In about… a minute’s time?”

He turned to drag Minho in the room with him, trying not to feel too hurt at the small flinch he gave at Jisung’s touch. The room was very spacious, one bed ominously empty and the other one occupying someone who looked as though they were sleeping.

“I’m getting chills here.”

Minho stared at him questionably, settling on the empty bed as the clock ticked away in the background. Jisung, on the other hand, had hopped over to the occupied side of the room to look around. He picked up a small near empty bottle of pills from the ground, frowning at the name of a drug he couldn’t pronounce and placing it on the small bedside table.

“I think these are pain relief pills,” Jisung glanced at the boy, eyes trained on the beanie that covered most his head, “I don’t have a good feeling about this-”

“ _Hyung_?”

The sleeping boy had gotten up from his bed, except his real body hadn’t actually moved. His head slowly turned to his bed then to Minho and finally to Jisung, understanding entering his pained expression quickly.

“Hyung, I think I’m dead.” His eyes were teary, a forced smile covered with adorable braces on his face as he rubbed his arm, “I always knew I was going to meet you when it was my time. After everything that happened, I just knew you were going to be the one to take me away. So I kept it safe.”

He politely asked for one of the reapers to reach under his bed and take out a battered  shoebox, filled about halfway with random items and photographs, and at the centre a silver squirrel pendant. Jisung furrowed his brows at the boy, trying to catch Minho’s eyes for some sort of answer or advice, but his mentor’s gaze was fixed onto the tiled floor.

Jisung opened his mouth, confused as he tried to question this strange boy who for some reason knew him. But he found the words stuck in his throat, even more when a giggle escaped the boy’s mouth.

“Now, next stop: The afterlife.”

  


 

The boy had refused to drink  the liquid, something that sent Jisung into internal panic because _no one_ chose not to forget in the end. At least, no one he had seen pass to the next life. But he was certain in his choices, and soothed Jisung almost effortlessly with a reassuring smile.

Before he walked through the door, the ghost boy had turned around one last time and told him that he had forgiven him. No one spoke for a while after he had left. Jisung opened the shoe box he had taken with him, skimming through the photos and frowning at everything.

“Yang Jeongin…” He re-read the card, “Death by overdosing. He was only sixteen- way too young, but Hyung, he knew me. How did he know me?”

Minho sighed, finally meeting Jisung’s eyes and suddenly looking very old. It felt strange thinking of how long he had really been a reaper. Hundreds of years of experience in comparison to Jisung’s couple of days, but his face was so young. Never aging and never changing.

“You’re a new reaper, meaning you’ve recently died,” He began to explain, “Which also  means there are traces of you that still exist. So there are going to be people who remember you and who knew you when you were alive, even if you don’t really know them now. And then overtime they fade as well, until there’s nothing left of you anymore.”

Jisung had chosen to sit down with him, eyes boring into Minho as if he was making sure his words weren’t a lie. As if he couldn’t just trust him anymore.

“Then why can’t  _I_ remember?”

As soon as he uttered the question, Minho had risen from his seat, an excuse to break away from the conversation on the tip of his tongue but this time Jisung didn’t let him.

“I’m a reaper too, I have a right to know.”

He immediately relaxed when he noticed Minho’s reluctance disappearing, more than ready to finally know the truth.

“We don’t choose to do this.” He ran his fingers through his hair and his voice wavered, “When we were human, we committed a sin-A great sin. We chose to drink from the cup and forget, but we don’t move on. We’re stuck between life and death until our punishment is over.”

“Oh,” Jisung let out, “I-I mean, it’s not… It isn’t  _that_ bad… Guiding the dead away seems kind of cool. I don’t see why you couldn’t…”

His words trailed into a silence when he caught a glimpse of Minho’s expression.

“No, you don’t get it,” He groaned, “That isn’t the punishment. The punishment is that we are alone-hundreds and hundreds of years of isolation and guiding the dead. Everyone a reaper meets is cursed to an early death. We either go mad with loneliness or watch the people we lo-” He cut himself off, clearing his throat, “Just leave it for now.”

It seemed as if Jisung’s just couldn’t keep quiet today, because despite the desperate pleas in the back of his mind to just shut up, he kept talking.

“But you aren’t alone, you have me and Changbin and even Felix. Besides, how do you know that’s even true and not just some old saying?”

For a second, Minho looked as if he had been slapped. Like Jisung had insulted him or something far worse than simply asked him a question. As soon as the words left his mouth, the clogs in Jisung’s mind began to turn and Minho didn’t have to say a single word for Jisung to know the answer.

“Oh. H-hyung, I’m...”

The apology was left unsaid when Minho walked out the room, and Jisung had never wanted to die again so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM.  
> That's the sound of me forcing some background plot on you.


	3. Forgiveness

“I think I hurt Minho.”

Jisung seemed to have a permanent pout on his face all week, whining to any (unlucky) person who had even _hinted_ they would be willing to listen.

Around two days ago it was Woojin, the owner of a chicken shop down the road he had recently become quite close with. Yesterday it was Chan, who had arguably told him he didn’t really want to know (“Sorry, but I need to buy some chicken to talk to- I mean eat before the shop closes, and- why are you looking at me like that?”) but Jisung’s teary eyes were too strong.

Today it was Felix and by default Changbin who was sipping on a giant strawberry milkshake with extra pink sprinkles and a little umbrella at the side. Unsurprisingly it was Felix who had chosen his drink, practically squealing as his mentor wordlessly tried to finish it as quickly as possible, cheeks scarlet in embarrassment.

“It can’t have been that bad,” Felix reassured him, sipping on his own chocolate milkshake, “What exactly did you do?”

“I… I don’t exactly… I brought up some bad memories. I think.” He tried to explain, “There was this ghost kid who knew me when I was alive and Minho and I were just talking about it at first.”

“At first,” Felix pushed on when Jisung fell silent.

It remained quiet a little longer.

“And then he mentioned some curse.”

Changbin gasped, the sound light but clear as Felix raised his eye at the dramatic reaction. The older reaper cleared his throat, waving his hand to signal for Jisung to continue.

“Is it actually true though?” Jisung asked, the uncertainty clear in his voice, “That everyone a reaper meets is cursed to die? That we're eternally alone?”

Both Jisung and Felix turned to Changbin expectantly, eyes wide in question. The oldest reaper was noticeably uncomfortable, biting his lip thoughtfully. When he finally had an answer, Jisung had finished his chocolate muffin (thankfully no banana this time) and was now drinking some coffee.

“It’s not really something that’s confirmed,” He began, swirling his straw in his now half full cup, “It’s kind of something all the reapers know about.”

“So a rumour?” Felix questioned, gulping obviously when Changbin scrunched up his nose cutely.

He tilted his head slightly to one side as he begun to re-word his answer.

“We could call it a rumour, but when something keeps happening over and over, at what point does it stop becoming one?”

Felix coincidently finished his milkshake right then and was now sipping it obnoxiously loud, an accented “what” leaving his mouth when he noticed the other two staring at him. Changbin simply shook his head and sighed, handing the younger reaper a few notes and ushering him to go buy himself another drink.

When Felix had left, beaming brightly and practically hopping to the counter, Changbin leaned in closer to Jisung and lowered his voice.

“There’s a reason we have these ‘reaper and mentor’ training periods you know,” He told him, “Some reapers go insane because of being alone, only to disappear for a few days and then come back normal, like nothing happened. Most try to keep close with a few other reapers, except we’re not always going to finish our punishments at the same time. Others try to socialise with as many humans as possible, but it never goes to plan.”

“Like with Minho?”

Changbin furrowed his brow, staring at the younger before releasing a small snort. He poked Jisung’s forehead back and laughed at his annoyed gasp, rolling his eyes fondly. Sometimes he forgot how much older he was in comparison to these children.

“So that’s how you hurt his feelings,” The words were laced with an unsaid worry that Changbin couldn’t hide, “You should see your dumb face right now. Don’t think too much about it, it probably wasn’t even your fault.”

Jisung stared at him, unconvinced.

“Why don’t you try and make it up to him then?” He offered, finally finished with his large pink and sparkly drink, “Minho is always so swamped with work. He’d probably be happy with anything small-”

“That’s a great idea!” Jisung’s voice was loud and startling, making a few customers jump around them, “I’ll dedicate a whole day of relaxation! I can get him breakfast in bed and beautiful flowers and tidy up his whole house! Personally, my room’s the only thing in the building worth looking at. Well, it’s a _little_ messy but I made a little path on the floor to walk to the bed now.”

Changbin shook his head in disagreement.

“No wait, that’s not _exactly_ what I-”

“Thank you so much for the idea!” Jisung practically screamed in excitement and grabbed Changbin’s hands enthusiastically, “I’m so happy I could kiss-”

Another chocolate milkshake slammed against the table, Felix smiling at the duo who had both visibly paled at the sight of him. He slid next to Changbin, eyes lingering on where Jisung’s hands were and only looking away when the squirrel-like reaper hastily removed them off Changbin’s.

“So what were you talking about?” Felix asked, eyes boring into Jisung, “Mind if I join the conversation?”

“It’s not what you think.” Changbin began, but Felix seemed reluctant to believe him.

It seemed like no-one was listening to Changbin today. He turned to Jisung, waiting for the reaper to back him up.

“I think that was Minho calling me… I’m just gonna go…”

The little traitor.

 

 

It had taken him two hours the night before to find all the cleaning equipment Minho had practically hidden in the dark closets of his home and an additional hour to find all the essentials of a delicious breakfast in a range of corner shops.

He had found his allowance completely gone by the end of his shopping trip (It turns out new reapers were completely reliant on their mentors for money, which was unfortunate for Minho’s savings). Oh, and Minho. He was still avoiding him. But at least he didn’t notice everything Jisung was planning.

As he skipped around his room, his hand hit the old shoe box, scattering the contents across the floor. He had honestly forgotten about it, the memory of Jeongin, the sixteen year old who knew him sending chills down his neck. Jisung picked up the mixture of letters, notebooks and photographs, frowning at how happy he looked in all of them.

He furrowed his eyes at what he was wearing. Was that a hospital gown? Why would he ever wear _that_ crime against fashion?

Something else caught his eye in the pile- something shimmering on the ground. Jisung reached his hand out and laughed at the adorable accessory. At least the squirrel pendant was a sign of his obviously amazing taste. He put it around his neck, sighing contently. He didn’t know why, but it felt right on him.

“Now, breakfast.” He giggled to himself.

Minho was definitely going to be surprised.

***

Minho was definitely surprised.

After his near waterworks episode with Jisung he’d felt unbelievably awkward around him. He was supposed to be this figure the younger reaper to look up to, which was clearly not happening anytime soon. He wasn’t dense, he knew Jisung was desperately trying to fix the bump in their forming relationship, but Minho felt too embarrassed of himself to even look Jisung in the eyes.

Perhaps he should toughen up and just talk to Jisung and they could carry on like normal-

 _Woah_.

It felt like avoiding Jisung had some sort of connection to what Minho was looking at, but he honestly wasn’t too sure.

Jisung was scattered with egg shells in his hair and bits of flour on his face. His chubby cheeks were puffed in frustration and his eyes had widened in horror at the sight of Minho. And his kitchen… It was an absolute mess.

“Hyung, I can explain.” Jisung began, shaking his head like stray dog to remove any egg shells.

Minho was sure Jisung had a reasonable explanation for all of this.

“I thought that chocolate chip was a spider.”

Maybe not.

“... Right.”

So in conclusion, the first part Jisung’s wonderful plan had failed. Foiled by the chocolate chip that looked like a spider (although flinging everything he had at it might have been a _little_ bit of an overreaction) and ruined by Minho’s inability to have a lie in.

**PLAN: PART ONE OF “PAMPERING MINHO”: FAIL**

 

After a terrible start, Jisung decided to redeem himself with a beautiful display of flowers. It turns out his good old chicken pal Woojin was quite close to a Kim Jungwoo who was neighbors with a Do Kyungsoo who was dating a Kim Jongin who happened to teach dancing with a Park Jimin who was a childhood friend of a Min Yoongi who just so happened to own a flower shop.

(How Woojin was able to say all of that with one breath, Jisung didn’t know.)

The shop was a beauty, all luminescent with fairy lights and a mixture of colours from pastel orange and pinks to bright reds. And honestly, the man in it was a sight as well, with unblemished, pale skin and a soft expression on his face as he watered the flowers. Well, until he accidently hit his foot on a nearby bucket.

Jisung had never heard such a range of swear words in one sentence.

“Are you just gonna stand there all day?”

The man was staring at Jisung, sighing languidly and putting down his watering can briefly. It was worrying how the simple action was making Jisung rapidly nervous.

“Oh, um. Woojin sent me…”

A flash of recognition went through his expression, mouth in a round “Oh” as he nodded in response.

“Should have known,” He muttered, rubbing his hands clean on his apron, “Which flowers were you purchasing again?”

 

White and pink roses with a few tiny orange flowers scattered between them and all tied together with a silver string on Minho’s desk at work. It definitely added that touch his work area desperately needed (although arguably ‘lifeless’ may have been the aesthetic Minho was going for considering their line of work).

What could possibly go wrong?

There was horror in Minho’s eyes as he rubbed his nose hard. His eyes had gone a bloodshot red and he hadn’t stopped sneezing in the past minute despite the fact that Jisung had removed the flowers a good while ago.

How was he supposed to know Minho was allergic to flowers?

**PLAN: PART TWO OF “PAMPERING MINHO”: FAIL**

 

Jisung had one last chance, and if there was anything Jisung was good at, it was fixing up the mess he created, both literally and metaphorically. Cleaning the house would be a piece of cake.

The kitchen was already sparkling from his failed previous attempt, and most the house was already pretty clean. Nearly all clean. The floor of his room was still only visible in the small path to his unmade bed, but today the focus was all about Minho.

After the flowers incident, Jisung had decided not to enter their work room (which was ten minutes of walking from their warm house that he wasn't bothered to do anyway) so the (only) option was clear to him: Minho’s room.

The few times Jisung had entered it, it was definitely something. Not exactly as bad as Jisung’s room- which was an _organised_ mess he had purposefully created- but it was getting there.

“Let’s start with the bed,” Jisung told himself firmly, taking off the bed sheets and struggling as he tried to put new ones on.

Perhaps he overestimated his ability to clean. Minutes later, he fell to the ground, exhausted. Jisung narrowed his eyes at the now crumpled bed sheets, flinging them away angrily. He glanced at the unmade bed, eyes drifting to under it as he noticed a small black box.

_Is Minho proposing to someone?_

Jisung’s mind flashed red alarms, grabbing the box hastily to look inside and exhaling when he realised there was only a small pendant inside. Not that he really cared if Minho was marrying anyone, he was just slightly surprised. Only a little.

The pendant was beautiful. It was a small round thing with some sort of carving in the front that was difficult to identify and a small bit that poked out in the side. When pressed, the front would open up, revealing some sort of scribble inside.

“H.I and Minho,” He read, snorting at the arrows that labelled the words to two badly drawn stickmen.

A few seconds later Jisung hurriedly put it away, the realisation that he was _snooping_ in Minho’s room finally hitting him. He had to make this bed before-

“Oh.”

Minho just had to have the best timing ever. Jisung sheepishly held up the bed sheet, completely giving up on talking.

“It doesn’t matter, I was meaning to talk to you.”

Jisung raised his eye in disbelief.

“It didn’t seem like it.”

Okay, Minho deserved that. He sat them both down on the bare mattress of the bed and inhaled deeply before explaining himself.

“You didn’t talk to me because you were embarrassed of _yourself_?” Jisung groaned in annoyance, “I thought you were mad at me! I thought you were never going to talk to me again! Why are you so extra sometimes?”

Oh the hypocrisy in that last line.

“There’s nothing to be mad _about_ ,” Minho reassured, “My incidence with humans… it was a long time ago.”

“How long?”

For a second, Jisung thought he had ruined it all again. Except Minho didn’t look sad. Just… nostalgic.

“Long enough for me to have gotten over it.”

He grinned at Jisung before tugging him back on his feet.

“Now, let me show you how to make the bed properly.”

**PLAN : PART THREE OF “PAMPERING MINHO”: FAIL**

 

**ONGOING PLAN: “MAKING MINHO SMILE”: SUCCESS**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to make a softer chapter after the wreck that was Chapter 2...


	4. The Gathering

“I thought you didn’t really have any other friends except me and Changbin.”

Minho gasped, narrowing his eyes at Jisung as he crossed his arms. The two had dressed up slightly formally and were currently waiting for Chan who had offered to pick them up on the way to a semi popular new restaurant. They still had time till he got there, which prompted Jisung to decide to start a nice, friendly talk with his fellow reaper.

“First of all, they’re my colleagues,” Minho began, “And second, I have lots of friends! What about Chan?”

“I thought he was your colleague?”

And he walked straight into that.

Something honked from outside, cutting their conversation short. It looked like Chan was early. Jisung practically skipped outside in delight, buzzing from the excitement of going to lunch with lots of other reapers. He paused in his tracks when he wasn’t met with Chan’s face.

“Woojin?”

“Oh, hi Jisung.”

That was definitely unexpected. Woojin in Chan’s car. Well, that did explain the faint scent of chicken the vehicle always seemed to have.

“Since when were you a reaper?”

Minho had finally caught up to Jisung after locking up the house, feeling glad (but not surprised) Woojin was there as well.

“He’s been a reaper longer than I have,” Minho told him, opening the the car door and sitting comfortably in the back.

He nodded a thanks to Chan for the lift and then began to calculate how long the journey would take, concluding that if they weren’t going to hit any traffic, it might even be quite short.

“You know, ever wonder why we can’t teleport from places all the time?” Jisung asked, “I mean, we guide the dead. Shouldn’t we at least be able to appear in places we want to go to instead of just the places we need to pick up the dead and back? Do you think it’s because of that card that tells us who died that we can even-”

Right, Jisung was here as well. Scratch everything from before. It was definitely going to be a long ride.

  


 

“Minho, I didn’t expect you to appear.”

A forced smile emerged on Minho's face as a few reapers snuck glances at him. Jisung didn’t miss the soft murmuring between a few people at the sight of them, already feeling very uncomfortable. He searched the room for Felix or Changbin, feeling slightly disappointed when he noticed them talking to two other people on a seperate table.

He held in a chuckle at the sight of Felix enthusiastically talking to Changbin, blatantly staring at him even when someone else was speaking. Jisung wondered how long it would take for Changbin to even notice, sighing at how oblivious he looked at that moment.

“Jisung.”

He quickly snapped his attention back to Minho.

“This is Reaper 142.”

“What a unique name,” Jisung commented, earning a breathy laugh from the other.

His small eyes crinkled and shone with something belittling. His lips had curved upwards but had not opened to release any real noise.

“To have a name is a very… human concept,” he explained, “And clearly we are not human, nor should we have any associations with them. Any form of human-reaper relations never tend to end well.”

Reaper 142’s eyes lingered on Minho a little longer than it should have before he returned to his seat, leaving Jisung in a stunned silence.

“I don’t think I like him very much.”

Minho snorted.

“That’s an understatement.”

Finally, Woojin had grabbed the two and sat them down on a nearby table, the four separated from the other reapers. About half the restaurant were full of them, all recognisable as they carried their black hats and talked quietly amongst themselves.

“He’s got a point though,” Chan sighed, scanning the menu, “I thought you hated these events.”

Minho shot an accusing look at Jisung who was fiddling with his own menu.

“What?”

  


 

_“What’s that?”_

_Jisung jumped up from his seat, trying to grab the black card in Minho’s hand. He resisted at first until he caught the evil glint in the younger’s eye. After Jisung had grabbed a nearby pillow and was hitting Minho as hard as he could, the older eventually surrendered._

_“To Reaper 221 and Reaper 282,” He read, “You are invited to attend the gathering- wait who’s reaper Reaper 221 and 282?”_

_“It means us,” Minho answered, snatching the invitation and throwing it in a nearby bin, “And it doesn’t matter because we’re not going.”_

_He might have laughed at Jisung’s reaction earlier on the day, but right now he was too tired to even try. After joining the younger’s job to collect ghosts all around Seoul, (something he had to do as his mentor) he had come home to find his day ruined by the invitation._

_“What?” Jisung practically screeched “Why? It’s in a weeks time, you have plenty of time to prepare!”_

_Minho rolled his eyes like he didn’t understand, something that really annoyed Jisung at times._

_“I hate these gatherings,” He explained, flopping back onto the sofa, “Besides, I’m not taking you along.”_

_“You can’t do that!” Jisung’s pitch seemed to go higher with every word, “If you don’t I’ll never cook for you again! And I’ll decorate the house with flowers! And I’ll-”_

_At last, Minho burst into laughter._

_“Wait, does that mean you’re going to go?”_

_Oh, right. Minho shrugged, feeling too tired to argue with Jisung now that he’d basically indirectly agreed. The younger reapers were always so energetic these days._

_“Then you have to take me with you!”_

_He gulped thickly as Jisung sprung towards him, uncharacteristically nervous when he felt the other’s breath by his face and hands on his shoulders. It was worrying how the younger had no sense of personal space, often causing compromising scenarios for Minho by accident._

_“Yes, fine, I’ll take you. Just please, get off! I can smell your lunch on my face!”_

_Jisung’s face broke out in a wide ceshirecat grin, something that made Minho’s chest flutter ever so slightly. Although that might have just been indigestion from the breakfast Jisung had offered to make earlier. Yeah probably just that._

  


 

“Innocent until proven guilty,” Jisung defended himself, licking his lips at the sight of the meat that had arrived.

He looked up to see that Chan had already finished his cup of coffee, Woojin refusing to let him get more than one cup. Minho was currently drinking some orange juice, eyes flickering around occasionally and catching eyes with a few other reapers who glanced at his direction every now and then.

“I’m just gonna go to the toilet,” He told the small group before rushing away.

Chan’s eyes followed him for a while, shaking his head slowly and jumping slightly at the pile of chicken bones by Woojin. (“You _own_ a chicken shop, when is chicken too much for you?” “There is no such thing as too much chicken.” “There is when you eat my share as well.”)

“Why’s everyone looking at him?” Jisung blurted out the moment Minho was out of sight.

Woojin stopped chewing for half a second and Chan visibly froze before awkwardly laughing it off.

“He’s kind of famous among the reapers,” It was obvious Chan was wording himself carefully, “Most people here don’t actually think he exists.”

Jisung opened his mouth but before he could speak, Minho grabbed his hand and was dragging them both outside. The moment itself was hazy, Jisung’s only focus being how soft Minho’s fingers were and how they felt surprisingly warm despite not exactly being alive.

He thought he could hear someone calling Minho’s name in the distance, a mixture of reaper 142 or whatever number he wanted to be called and a worried Chan, but it was hard to hear under the sound of his heart beating so loudly.

“I never should have come here.” Minho spat out, finally stopping after they had walked for about five minutes.

“Sorry,” Jisung mumbled, guilty for having forced Minho into going.

The older reaper smiled at the younger, nudging him  in reassurance.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

There was a brief silence of the two just looking at each other until Minho noticed where his hands were. He quickly released Jisung from his grip, the two refusing to look each other in the eyes for a few seconds.

“So, I heard you’re famous.”

Minho scoffed, reaching out for his phone to call Chan and tell him not to worry.

“That’s one way of putting it.”

He cursed at the realisation that he’d left it on the table, Jisung silently handing his own when Minho had pondered on going back.

“So how come everyone knows who you are?” The curiosity was clear in Jisung’s voice, “What scandal did you commit?”

Minho looked up from the phone, eyes looking so much older than usual.

“I fell in love with a human.”

The words in Jisung’s throat stuttered, a pain in his chest when he caught his mentor’s bittersweet expression.

“What happened to her?”

  
“ _He_ killed himself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that was chapter 4...


	5. Remember?

“You look like someone ran over your dog.”

Minho sighed in response, head hitting the table a little harder than he intended it to. Changbin jumped at the noise, poking the other reaper when Minho hadn’t moved for a good while.

“I feel so guilty for not telling him,” He groaned, rubbing his forehead, “There’s so much he doesn’t know. The fact that I named him… It makes it so much harder to tell him...”

As Minho trailed into silence, Changbin got up from his seat, ignoring the irritated call of his name from the other reaper. Minho had forgotten this was Changbin for a second, the only reaper who simply did not care about someone like Minho. How they were close friends, he still didn’t know.

When he looked up again, Changbin had slid a glass of strawberry milkshake in his direction, staring out of the window and refusing to look at Minho. _Oh._

“You’re giving me this for free?” Minho asked, feeling very skeptical, “Are you being… _nice_ to me?”

“Felix told me it cheers people up,” He reasoned, the embarrassment clear in his voice, “After all his yapping, I’m not staying here to hear _you_ whine as well.”

It was a sweet gesture, something an emotional constipated Changbin often struggled with, and Minho was honestly grateful. Whatever Felix had done to the reaper, he was enjoying it so far.

“Wait, aren’t you meeting up with him and… and Jisung now?” He remembered, “He kept going on about it all morning.”

Changbin hesitated, shaking his head a little and tracing his fingers on some tissues.

“They won’t mind if I’m a little late.”

“Okay, I understand the milkshake thing, but being late?” Minho narrowed his eyes, “Who are you and what have you done with Changbin?”

The reaper pushed his head away in annoyance, wrinkling his nose.

“What’s wrong with how I’m like now?”

“Nothing!” He quickly cut in, “It’s just… You’re... softer lately.”

Changbin snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Am I hearing that from you?”

Minho quickly took a large gulp from his drink, tasting much sweeter than he had expected it to be. How could Changbin drink these?

“I don’t know what you mean.”

No matter how much he denied it, Changbin was right. They were both changing, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe one day he’d change enough to finally have the strength to tell Jisung the truth. About his name… about everything. Maybe.

 

 

Things weren’t adding up lately. There was too much going on in Jisung’s life that his mind couldn’t catch up. Just a few weeks ago he was struggling to take in the fact that he was dead (but still not able to eat bananas), and now it felt like he was getting dumped with something new everyday.

So of course, the best solution was obviously to write down everything that had happened in his life so far with the help of his partner in crime and best friend: Felix. (Oh, and Changbin by default. Again. Who was surprisingly late for the first time.)

“I don’t see why you have to write out _everything_ in your life…”

Felix had gotten Changbin another strawberry milkshake, but the reaper was only cute and quiet until his drink was halfway finished. Of course Changbin would be the one to question Jisung.

“Excuse me,” Jisung whined, “But I don’t see you coming up with a better plan. Just drink your milkshake.”

Both Jisung and Felix had finished writing down his first week, most of it ending up being looking at Minho do work, although he had met Felix near the end of it. The second week was going to take a little longer.

“I met this kid, Jeongin,” He explained, the boy’s smile still clear in his memories, “He was the one that knew me and I made Minho upset right after that. He gave me this box of photos and this beautiful necklace that I clearly picked out when I was alive. I mean, who else would have such good taste.”

Jisung, pulled his necklace into sight from under his shirt, smiling at how the silver glimmered in the light.

“But there was something bothering me.”

Felix stopped taking notes to look up, nodding for him to continue.

“The hospital we were in,” Jisung continued before turning to Changbin, “Did something with Minho happen inside that?”

The older reaper was beginning to suspect that he wasn’t there to babysit the two but as a source of information instead. He shrugged in response, feeling very reluctant to talk at all.

“Why’d you think that?” Felix asked, doodling little triangle faced people on his sheet of paper.

“There was something about the way he acted,” Jisung paused for a second, trying to remember exactly what Minho did, “He was flinching at my touch and couldn’t really look me in the eye. He went all quiet as well.”

“And you didn’t try to kiss him, right?”

Changbin choked on his drink, both him and Jisung staring at Felix in confusement.

“What? No! Where did you even get that?” Jisung spluttered out, grabbing his glass of water with a flushed face.

“It kind of just sounded like a drama,” Felix giggled, “Flinching, can’t look you in the eyes…”

Jisung furrowed his brows at his friend before picking up his pen to continue writing.

“So, moving on,” He cleared his throat, “The ‘making it up to Minho’ plan or as I called it, ‘Pampering Minho’. Great ideas that were poorly executed. Thank you once again Changbin.”

Felix narrowed his eyes at the two for a while before picking up his juice and swirling it around.

“Your conversation didn’t exactly sound like it,” He grumbled.

Changbin sighed, reassuring Felix that it was just Jisung being a loose tongued idiot as usual (“You could wait for me to leave before you insult me you know.”) and quickly moved the conversation along before the atmosphere got too strange around them.

“I found this pendant though,” Jisung remembered, “Under Minho’s bed when I was making it. It was one of those pretty ones that open up and should have a photo inside. Instead of a person, I see stick men and arrows pointing some names to them.”

Felix burst into laughter at the thought, draping himself all over Changbin while doing so. (The overreaction instantly made sense after his content little smile.) The older had remained very silent throughout all of this, staring out of the window boredly.

“What were their names?” He asked when he could finally speak.

“Minho and someone called H.I.”

Changbin’s head shot in Jisung’s direction and for a second he looked like he wanted to say something before deciding against it. After one more lingering glance, he went back to looking out the window.

Going through the next week was quite repetitive, a cycle of either Minho or Jisung following one another to work and hanging out with Felix (with Changbin in the background of course). It was actually a little sad realising just how unproductive Jisung actually was.

“Oh, and then on the fourth week we went to that gathering!” Felix exclaimed, practically bouncing up and down.

Jisung subconsciously touched the hand Minho had grabbed, still feeling it tingle despite it being several days since.

“At least _someone_ enjoyed it.”

The slight bitterness that seeped into his words remained undetected by Felix but Changbin raised an eye.

“Yup,” He nodded, “It was great! I got to meet Hyunjin and Seungmin! Their mentors were at other tables, but it turns out they all live in the same apartment complex, which is so cool! What about you?”

Jisung paused for a second, debating whether or not if he should tell Felix.

“I found out about Minho’s ex.”

He snuck a discreet glance at Changbin, certain that he was bound to know something and feeling slightly disappointed when his face remained a blank slate.

“His what?”

Felix had nearly spilled his drink all over the table in shock, eyes flickering between Jisung and Changbin.

“His human dead ex.” Jisung added, beginning to regret mentioning it to begin with.

So what if most the reapers knew anyway? It was still Minho’s personal life, and he felt like a jerk for just spreading it on.

“So is that who this H.I is then?”

For a second, Jisung had forgotten to speak. He hadn’t even thought of connecting the two together, but it made sense. A pendant hidden under his bed, the story of his old lover… He was definitely beginning to feel bad about snooping through Minho’s room, even if it was accidental. The guilt was beginning to build up now, and if he didnt do something, Jisung knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it any longer.

“I’m going to the toilet,” Changbin declared, trying to maneuver around Felix as best as he could.

“You have a tiny bladder,” Jisung snorted, “But it makes sense. A tiny bladder for a tiny person.”

Changbin’s whole face was engulfed in pink, face scrunching to form something intimidating but failing as Felix cooed next to him.

“I’m _not_ tiny,” He snapped, “And my bladder isn’t either. It’s just delicate and I drank a lot.”

The younger two glanced at the single empty cup and looked back at him, unimpressed.

“It was a large cup!”

***

“Why are you cooking today?”

It was an unofficial rule in the household that Jisung was the one who would handle everything related to food and Minho was the one who would clean up. The two would occasionally help one another, but it was never one of them completely doing the other’s job.

“It’s to make up for how I’m acting,” He explained sheepishly, flipping a fried egg over, “I was ignoring you and then I dragged you out of that gathering after you were looking forward to it for a week. You haven’t even complained once, so I think something like this is long overdue.”

Jisung’s guilt levels were dangerously under attack. Of course he wouldn’t complain when Minho was so obviously bothered by it all. Besides, after what Jisung was doing behind his back, he didn’t have the right to complain.

“It’s fine,” Jisung smiled despite the poking in his heart, “You don’t have to do all of this-”

“I want to.”

The younger looked up to see Minho closer than he thought, dark orbs staring deep into his own. Without realising, he traced his eyes all over Minho’s face and watched his lips curve into a small smirk.

“Your eggs.”

“What?”

Minho gestured to the eggs he had slid onto Jisung’s plate.

“Oh, right. Thanks.”

That made sense, of course Minho was only that close to give him his breakfast. How else was he supposed to get the eggs onto Jisung’s plate? He had to stop misunderstanding.

“Wait, where’s your plate?”

“Oh, I’m not hungry.”

His stomach growled.

“... And we ran out of ingredients.”

 _Thank you again guilt_. Jisung mentally screamed at himself.

Just a little more, and breakfast would be over. He didn’t have to act like he didn’t know anything in front of Minho after they went their separate ways for the morning. Then he could plot another way to make it up to Minho in the safety of his room.

“We can share?”

Minho smiled, and is it just Jisung, but he looked prettier than usual today.

“I’m lucky I'm mentoring you,” The older admitted, taking a large bite of a very buttered toast, “At first I genuinely thought it would be hell. I mean, you did block the men’s toilets after a very nasty allergic reaction. But now I don’t think I want anyone else-”

“I went through your stuff.”

Why was Jisung so bad at hiding things?

“I didn’t mean to,” He continued to blurt out, “But I just felt so bad that I couldn’t _not_ tell you, I’m so sorry.”

Minho went quiet for a while.

“Did you find anything?” He didn’t seem angry, just curious.

The younger nodded, fiddling with his hands nervously.

“Your pendant,” He told him, “The one with the stick men people of you and H.I.”

For a second, Minho looked genuinely confused.

“H.I?”

A light bulb flashed above his head and a snort threatened to escape his lips. He forced it down, knowing he had to be very careful now.

“It wasn’t a H.I,” He explained, looking very uncertain, “It was a H.J. Clearly not the best handwriting as you can tell.”

“Initials right?” Jisung asked, humming when Minho nodded, “For who?”

The younger knew when the older reaper was hiding something. He had known after his first time at the hospital and he had known when they had gone to the gathering. What he didn’t know was _what_ he was hiding.

“Han Jisung. They stand for Han Jisung.”

His head turned rapidly, staring hard at Minho.

“But that’s the name you gave…”

For a confused second the clogs began to turn in Jisung’s mind.

“Look, it was impulsive. I didn’t mean to give you the same name-”

“You named me after you dead lover.”

A sickness made its way to Jisung’s stomach. For a second, he thought it was a joke, but then he looked up and the regret in Minho’s eyes were undeniable. Everything beautiful he had come to like about his name was gone in a second, replaced by an emotion he couldn’t understand.

“I don’t feel hungry anymore,” Jisung stood up and pushed his plate towards Minho, “Here, you can eat.”

He walked out the front door before he could hear Minho’s voice calling out the name that was no longer his. That was never his to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get worse before they get better...  
> I don't know who said it but thank you for existing so I can sound way more mature than I actually am.


	6. Who are you?

“I’m getting sick of milkshakes now.”

That was a blatant lie. If anything Changbin was getting borderline addicted to them, often sneaking off after work to buy some for himself when he thought no one was looking.

Luckily one of the cafe workers, a Kim Minseok, was quite close to a Cha Hakyeon who worked at a dance company with an Im Jaebum who was the cousin of a Kim Yugyeom who was best friends with some thai rookie fashion designer who went by the name of ‘BamBam’ who happened to know Chan who told Woojin who casually mentioned Changbin’s secret pleasure to Jisung.

(He bet Woojin was good at swimming considering how well he could hold his breath. Seriously, what kind of training did he do with his lungs?)

“You knew about Han Jisung, didn’t you?”

Changbin genuinely looked surprised, mouth gaping open but unable to say anything for a while.

“How much did he tell you?”

“What do you mean how much?” Jisung hissed, “I find out that he named me after his dead lover and there’s more?”

Felix’s grip on his drink faltered, the coke in it spilling all over the table. He quickly rushed to get some tissues, half a curse slipping out of his mouth before Changbin’s stare silenced him. The older sighed, giving him some more money for another drink.

“Look, I don’t want to do this with you,” Changbin began, “This is between you and Minho, but believe me when I say this: the idiot just wants the best for you. And it’s always going to be that way. Even at his own expense.”

Jisung blinked.

“Who’s side are you on again?”

The older simply smiled, his arms and head lying on the table while briefly glancing at Felix.

“I don’t take sides. I just step in when your romantic drama gets too much.”

“Romantic drama?” Jisung spluttered out, laughing at an awkward pitch, “W-what?”

Changbin straightened his back, making sure not to break eye contact with Jisung in any way as he muttered his next words.

“If you don’t like him, why are you so angry about being named after someone else?”

It was a good question- a really good question. Jisung wanted to say he had a really good answer, but he didn’t.

“Like I said,” Changbin went back to his usual position of staring out of the window, “Just talk to him.”

 

 

Why did it bother him so much?

The answer was obvious: Because Minho had named him after his dead lover. He’d most likely never even seen Jisung- reaper Jisung as his friend the whole time, but instead as a way to be with _his_ Jisung- human Jisung. Wasn’t that enough of a reason?

He was lying to himself and he knew it. Of course it wasn’t enough. The past month he’d gotten closer to Minho and he knew the older wasn’t that kind of person. Despite the bad choices and lack of friends he would never intentionally hurt anyone, Jisung included.

When he arrived home he exhaled in relief once he realised Minho was at work. Once he’d reached his room, Jisung flopped face first straight into his bed and groaned, hating how unstable their relationship was at times.

“Stupid Minho,” He whispered to no one in particular, “Why do you make my heart hurt so much?”

Later on it would be his turn to go to work , something he knew Minho was forced to accompany him in whether they liked it or not. He groaned even louder at the thought, cringing at how awkward it was going to be.

His squirrel pendant glimmered next to his face, something Jisung had worn everyday since he’d first put it on. Perhaps a distraction would be best for now.

“Now, where is that shoe box…”

Jisung dragged the old box onto his bed once he’d found it, pouring the contents out and picking up a random notebook. It was mostly filled with little games of noughts and crosses and badly drawn doodles as well as the occasional writing. As least he thought it was writing.

“Wow. I’ve never seen handwriting this bad.”

Once he’d gone through all the notebooks, Jisung picked up a letter realising he’d written it to Jeongin. The paper was crinkly with what he suspected to be tear stains but there was no real way of telling if it really was. Besides, the handwriting was far better here, how bad could it really be?

“Oh.”

It started off sweet and teasing, something very informal and like an excuse to make the younger laugh. Of course there was even a whole passage filled with inside jokes he no longer understood between the two of them and an even longer section praising the younger an embarrassing amount.

And then there was the apologies. Pleads for Jeongin to forgive him and that he’d always love him, that no matter what happened he’d always be his little brother, even if they weren’t related. Jisung was beginning to get a little anxious reading on, his blood running cold by the time he’d gotten to the end of the letter.

“ _Oh_.”

 

 

“Changbin’s right, you’re an idiot.”

That was one way to start a conversation. Minho didn’t deny anything, taking off his hat after they had silently collected all the ghosts. The younger grabbed his arms, forcing him to look at Jisung in the eyes and breath hitching when he did.

“When you first saw me at the cafe you looked horrified and I thought it was just because of the vomiting, but that wasn't it, was it?”

Minho stiffened.

“Han Jisung…” The younger slowly let his grip on Minho fade until he had completely let him go, “That’s me, isn’t it? I was never named after him, you just didn’t change my name. I was the human who killed himself- that was my sin and why I became a reaper. Suicide.”

It was like something in Minho snapped.

“I thought what I said had actually gotten through to you,” He pushed Jisung away from him harshly, “I don’t know how you ended up with that, and I don’t _want_ to know.”

“Hyung-”

“Just shut up for once!”

The younger quietened immediately, narrowing his eyes and confused why Minho was still guarding the truth so intently. At why he even had to lie in the first place.

“Hyung, why are you hiding things from me?” He finally asked after a moment too long of silence, “I can handle it.”

Minho scoffed, breath stuttering as he exhaled.

“No you can’t,” He muttered bitterly, “If you could handle it we wouldn’t be here to begin with. You’d still be out there- you’d still be alive and-"

He cut himself off, eyes glazed over like a mirror.

“I wouldn’t have killed myself,” Jisung finished for him, “And you’re scared I’ll hurt myself again if I find out now.”

The older smiled as pain shone in his eyes, a weak laugh escaping him.

“I’m terrified,” He admitted, “I can handle you hating me because I named you after someone else. I can deal with you never wanting to see me again. But I can’t watch you hurting. Not after I had to watch you go through-”

Jisung wrapped his arms around Minho tightly, whispering soothing reassurances as soon as the first tear had rolled down his mentor’s face. Changbin’s words echoed knowingly in his ear, Minho’s actions suddenly making sense now.

_The idiot just wants the best for you. And it’s always going to be that way. Even at his own expense._

It hurt knowing that if he hadn’t rummaged through the old cardboard box Minho would have succeeded. Jisung wouldn’t have confronted him and he would never have known everything the reaper was willing to do for him.

“I’m sorry,” Jisung couldn’t stop apologising, “I’m so sorry.”

The older smiled at him fondly, hand reaching out like he wanted to touch Jisung before deciding not to. Like he couldn’t dare.

Jisung wanted to hit Minho’s beautiful face, sight going blurry as a single question raced through his mind. How long was Minho in pain because of him?

Because of Han Jisung, the person who had signed his name at the end of the suicide note to Jeongin. Han Jisung, the person who had drawn the ugly picture of the two in Minho’s pendant. Han Jisung, the person Minho had fallen in love with.

“What happened?” He asked, now needing to know more than ever how much he messed up, “I’m not the same person anymore hyung- I can deal with it this time. I promise.”

“You promised you wouldn’t forget me,” Minho told him, the memory clear in his mind, “Back when you were alive. Look at us now.”

Jisung bit back another string of apologies, reaching out to grab Minho’s hand instead.

“Please.”

For a second Minho looked dazed, lost in nostalgia and Jisung wasn’t entirely sure he'd heard him. He gently called out the older’s name, closer to the truth than ever before. 

“It was a year ago…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM.  
> Plot twist to throw you off. Next week you finally get to find out about Minsung's past! Yay!


	7. Alive (pt 1)

_ONE YEAR EARLIER_

 

“Hyung, I think they’ll let us both out today.”

Jisung smiled at Jeongin who was giggling in excitement, turning off the television neither of the two had really been watching.

“That’s good,” He sunk into his bed and exhaled, “I was getting a little sick of ‘in-door eye spy’. I don’t really think ‘ceiling’ is a good word beginning with c anymore.”

The older got up to his feet and stretched before offering to get them both some flavoured milk. Jeongin pleaded for Jisung to get him some snacks as well and he was lucky he was cute or Jisung wouldn’t have gone out of his way to get some pepero from the only snack vending machine a good five minutes away.

(A whole five minutes of walking! The horror...)

“Watch it!”

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

Jisung froze, bowing quickly in apology before hurrying off. A few nurses were giving him glances but he didn’t care. It was gone now, the ghost was gone.

He couldn’t exactly pinpoint when he started seeing them, not even realising the difference between someone alive and dead at first. (Although the blood and translucent bodies should have been a giant clue.) It wasn’t until he’d noticed an old lady he’d known to have passed away that he certain of his abilities.

At least now he could generally tell them apart-

“Ow.”

Jisung fell on the ground, staring up at the person who he had walked into and huffing when they just stared back.

“You aren’t even gonna say sorry?”

He dusted himself off, giving one last puffy cheeked glare at the stranger before walking off to the vending machine.

_Who even wears all black in summer?_

 

 

“And they ran out.”

_I could have sworn it was full this morning._

“Excuse me, but could you direct me to the toilets?” Someone asked from behind him.

Jisung quickly replaced the pout on his face with a smile, giving one last longing look at the empty pepero section. He straightened his back and turned to the voice.

“Yeah, sure. It’s just-”

_Even better. Another one._

He looked around to make sure no one else had noticed him talking to thin air, sighing in relief when he remained ignored. He was in a hospital for goodness sake, if any professional had noticed the way he was acting, it was a sure-fire ticket to the mentally unstable section.

Jisung averted his eyes, walking off as if he hadn’t noticed anything to begin with.

“How dare you ignore me!”

“Choi Kwangsoo.”

They both turned at the same time, Jisung’s mouth dropping a little at the sight of who was in front of him. Black shirt and trousers topped off with a plain black hat... It was impossible. It was the same person from before.

“Who’s asking?”

The ghost was an old man with cold eyes and fading white hair, practically growling as he spoke.

“I’m sorry,” The stranger simply said, “Death by old age.”

The ghost’s face scrunched in confusion until he turned his head to the right, eyes widening at the sight. Through the window of an operation room he could see several nurses had surrounded his real body, calling his name only to be met with silence. Turning away the ghost's shoulders sagged, walking towards this man and ready to go.

“Wait!” Jisung called out, gulping when everyone had turned to him.

A few people were looking around to see who he was talking to, unable to see the man in all black to Jisung’s surprise. He laughed it off, clearing his throat before announcing that he thought he had recognised someone in the distance. So no one had seen the man.

Before he could try and get them on their own, both the stranger and the ghost had disappeared.

_Great._

 

 

“Sorry Innie,” Jisung flopped dramatically onto his bed, “No pepero.”

The younger joined him on his bed, grabbing his milk quickly before Jisung could accidentally roll over it. (“Okay, it was _once_.”) He hummed at the taste of banana, showcasing his cute braces in a wide smile when the older wrinkled his nose at the smell.

“It’s not my fault you’re allergic to banana,” Jeongin sing-songed.

“But banana _milk_?” he groaned, “There’s just something wrong with y-”

A knock interrupted Jisung, revealing a young woman by the door. She was positively confused, looking at the number on the door one more time before speaking.

“I’m sorry, but isn’t this room 9D?” She asked, fiddling with a plastic bag in her hand.

“Wrong building,” Jisung explained, completely used to the mix-up in rooms, “It’s in the other building. This section are for people with terminal illnesses.”

She tensed, releasing a small “Oh” as she quickly bowed in apology and walked away. He was used to that too. Not many people knew how to react when he told them about the two’s health, but it was often the fastest way to get them to leave.

“You didn’t have to make her uncomfortable,” The younger chastised, “She looked like a nice person.”

“You _just_ saw her for about ten seconds,” Jisung reminded him,“How would you even know? Besides, if I’m permanently staying in this hospital _that_ should be the privileges I get.”

No one spoke for a while, a comfortable silence falling between them.

“It must be nice,” Jeongin sighed, sipping his milk quietly, “Getting visitors.”

 _Yeah_. Jisung thought, staring at his own chocolate milk, _It must be._

 

 

“Han Jisung?”

His head perked up at the sound of his name, searching eyes landing to the person by the door. He smiled, jumping up to his feet and jokingly warning Jeongin not to cheat. It was their fifth game of noughts and crosses, and so far he was actually winning.

“What’s up Sooyoung noona- ow. Isn’t this considered abuse?”

The nurse rolled her eyes at the over dramatic boy, shaking her head in disapproval.

“Let’s try that again,” She told him sweetly, the other snorting at the sudden change of behaviour.

“What’s up _nurse Ha_ ,” He mumbled reluctantly, earning a small smile from the pretty nurse.

She looked around, face solemn as she confirmed that no one was there before she let out a shaking breath. Jisung blinked in shock, not knowing how to react.

“Your parents aren’t coming,” She finally admitted, “I’m really sorry Jisung. I know you were excited that they would finally-”

“It’s not your fault,” He cut in, not wanting to hear any more, “Maybe I’ll be around for my next birthday, right?”

No one laughed at the joke, Jisung himself hearing the bitterness in his voice. He never was good at hiding things.

“You’re gonna be late for your shift,” He reminded her, holding up the watch on his wrist, “Don’t want the others moaning about it, do you?”

When she’d left (albeit reluctantly), Jisung leaned on the wall weakly, smacking his fist on it loudly. It was stupid thinking they would come. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up in the first place.

“For someone who looks so fragile, you sure hit hard.”

He turned around quickly, freezing at the sight of the person in all black.

“So you can see me after all,” The stranger’s voice was laced in curiosity, taking off his hat before stepping a little closer to Jisung, “Wouldn’t want anyone thinking you’re talking to yourself, would we? Because this might take a while.”

 

 

“I don’t believe you.”

The stranger looked as though he wanted to end his life, mouth open with half words stumbling out occasionally.

“My existence is literally enough evidence, what more do you need?” He asked, arms crossed in disbelief.

“I mean it does explain why I bumped _into_ you and not _through_ you…”

Jisung thought for a while longer before shaking his head defiantly.

“But Grim reapers don’t exist.”

And the expression returned, face palming at Jisung’s reaction to his confession.

“And people can’t see ghosts,” He retorted back, smiling when Jisung found himself speechless, “But that just means there’s more to the universe than we know.”

The stranger glanced at his watch, cursing a little as he was about to make his way out before Jisung stopped him.

“Wait, I-I don’t even know your name.”

He knew he sounded a little pathetic, but this was the longest conversation he ever had with someone from outside the hospital.

“Oh… I don’t really have a name…”

That was a little unexpected. Jisung stared at him hard, eyes brightening when one came to mind.

“What about Minho?” He suggested, “I used to have a cat called Minho. You kind of remind me of him.”

The person in all black nodded, mouthing it out to himself.

“I’ll see you next time. It was Jisung right?”

Jisung nodded blankly before hurriedly grabbing onto his arm, stopping Minho one last time. Despite the flesh being a reassurance he wasn’t a ghost, he still felt uncertain.

“How do I know you’re even real… That I’m not going mad.”

Just as Minho opened his mouth, Sooyoung walked past again, talking about how she had forgotten her bag when she did a double take at the two.

“I didn’t know you were having other guests,” Her voice was cheerful, “I’ll leave you two to your own privacy then.”

Minho smirked lightly, looking obnoxiously handsome while doing so. His eyes shone with an _‘I told you’_ , flipping his black hat back on his head. How could she even see him…?

“You’ll see me again.” He promised, the words still ringing in Jisung’s mind long after he'd left.

 

 

“I’ll get the drinks this time around,” Jeongin offered, flashing his adorable smile before hurrying off.  

Jisung blurted out a loud thanks before he got too far, fixated on the climax of a drama he had been following for some time. Whereas Jeongin was indifferent to if the main character ever recovered from his amnesia, Jisung had been mentally and emotionally preparing for this one moment.

“You should really tidy up a little.”

If anyone had asked, Jisung did _not_ scream at Minho’s voice. And even if he did, it was definitely a very manly scream.

“Quiet,” He hissed, “I’m about to find out if Jun Pyo will ever remember!”

When the drama ended Jisung was definitely content, finally registering Minho’s presence in the room.

“Oh, you’re here.”

Minho was certain there was something wrong with the human’s reactions.

“So you’re more excited about the drama than seeing your favourite grim reaper then?”

“The _only_ grim reaper I know,” Jisung added, swatting the black hat off his head, “Why are you always wearing this thing anyway?”

“ _Woah_.”

Jeongin was at the door, milk in both hands and pepero in his mouth. The sweet snack muffled his voice a little as Minho tensed, staring at the younger boy in shock.

 

“Because of _that_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Jeongin is back! WITH BRACES. (Cri)  
> I'm super certain he's going to be really manly in a few years so I'm preserving his current cute self now. (Either that or I'm going to look a little stupid if he isn't...)  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter~


	8. Alive (pt 2)

“You’re a Grim reaper!”

Now _that_ was the reaction Minho had wanted. Jeongin was easy to explain to, gasping at the right times and unlike Jisung genuinely being awed by Minho.

“That explains how you just appeared out of nowhere!”

Jisung was currently examining Minho’s hat, not that he actually let the human boy touch it. It had finally sunk in that people could only see Minho when he wasn’t wearing his hat, which honestly did make a lot of sense.

“This hat though,” He wrinkled his nose, “I mean, can’t you decorate it a little or something?”

The reaper snatched it away from his sight, huffing a little.

“You don’t get to insult the hat.”

The human rolled his eyes, grabbing his chocolate milk from Jeongin’s hands and sighing at the taste. Everything was better with chocolate. Maybe even banana, not that he’d ever get to taste that.

“Yang Jeongin?”

Their talk was interrupted by Sooyoung, face serious as she called out the name. The youngest nodded, smiling as he got up from his seat and waved at them before leaving.

“Where’s he going?” Minho asked, making himself comfortable on Jisung’s bed.

“Chemotherapy.”

Jisung yawned loudly, finally turning the television screen off. Wait what? So the fact that they were in a hospital, the constant beanies...

“I didn't mention it, did I? We’re cancer patients.”

 

 

Minho didn’t know why he kept coming back. Maybe it was because he missed the company or even because Jisung had asked him to, but he did. Even if it felt like he should be regretting it all, he just couldn’t. Hundreds of years of being a reaper, but this was the first time he felt so alive.

“I got milk for you as well,” Jisung threw the bottle in Minho’s general direction, the reaper barely managing to catch it.

The older looked confused, staring the chocolate milk in his hand before turning to Jisung.

“I’m a grim reaper,” He reminded, eyes furrowed as he spoke.

“Oh, you can’t drink it?” Jisung asked, feeling a little stupid, “It’s fine if you can’t. I’ll just give it to Jeongin when he comes back. It’s the first time in months his parents visited him so he might take some time.”

Minho shook his head wordlessly, looking almost cute. Almost.

“No, I can,” He answered, deciding to try again, “What I mean is why are you treating me like a human? I’m a reaper, a monster-”

“You’re a person,” Jisung interrupted, suddenly feeling angry, “I mean, you’re dead but that doesn't change the fact that you used to be alive. Still a person by my standards.”

For a second Minho didn’t realise he was crying. It took Jisung to panic and drop his own milk all over the floor in a complete overreaction for him to realise how wet his cheeks were. But he wasn’t sad, at least he didn’t think he was.

Years of being outcasted and alone had left cracks in him, but Minho could finally feel them heal a little. Maybe that’s why he kept coming back? Because he felt so human.

 

“Oh, he’s asleep again.”

Jeongin jumped, wincing as he accidentally bit his tongue instead of his rice. He removed his ear phones, pausing the Mukbang video he was watching and began to look around for the source of the voice. He wasn’t impressed when Minho finally took his hat off, revealing himself.

“Sorry,” He apologised sheepishly, “I forgot Jisung was the only one who could see me with this thing on.”

The younger simply sighed, making some room for Minho to sit down and glancing occasionally at the older human.

“How long has he been asleep for?”

Jeongin shrugged, shovelling more rice into his mouth and wincing at how sore his tongue felt. In the past few months Minho had gotten to know  the two, these were the rare times Jeongin’s smile looked pained.

“He’s been sleeping a lot lately.” Minho commented, getting up to Jisung’s side of the bed.

His stroked the boy’s head gently, the soft strands of his hair slipping through his fingers like sand. He would never admit it, but he had developed a soft spot for him. Minho leaned in closer, only stopping when he realised just how close Jisung’s face was to his.

_What was he doing?_

The blush on his face lessened when he realised Jisung’s eyes were open, just staring at the window boredly. He didn’t move or smile, just continued looking at nothing in particular.

“Yeah, sleeping.” Jeongin muttered in confirmation, and no one was quite sure who he was trying to convince.

 

 

Minho finally knew what he was feeling the first time he had seen Jisung outside. Emotions were harder for him to understand ever since he had stopped caring about them hundreds of years ago, but now he was certain.

“Is this a hallucination,” He joked, plopping next to Jisung on the bench, “I think Han Jisung is actually outside. What kind of horror movie have I stepped into?”

The younger pushed him a little while smiling, his response soft and with little aggression.

“Oh, I forgot to give this to you,” He began searching his pockets hastily, “I found it in my room and I guess it’ll look better on you.”

Jisung flung a pendant at Minho, hitting his chest a little harder than either of them expected. The older reaper stared at what landed in his lap, opening it up to find the ugliest drawing of the two he had ever set his eyes on. An unintentional smile made its way to his face, turning his head to tease the human only to falter at his expression.

“I used to love going outside,” Jisung admitted, gaze lost in the clear skies and nearby birds that frolloced above them, “This would always be my favourite part of the hospital.”

“And now?”

The sadness that flickered on the human’s face was unmissable.

“It’s like I’ve forgotten how to enjoy what I love,” His voice wavered slightly, “And I can’t even find it in me to care. But….”

He finally looked at Minho, cheeks flushed and offering a giant grin.

“I’m glad you’re here. I still have something to look forward to.”

It could have been the way the sun made Jisung’s eyes glisten wonderfully or how his smile bought butterflies in his stomach, but Minho could no longer stay in denial. Jisung was beautiful and Minho was screwed.

 

 

“Happy birthday squirrel hyu-”

Jeongin screamed loudly as Jisung flung himself at the younger, Minho laughing wildly at the sight. Jisung hadn’t been very energetic lately, but Minho blamed it on hospital treatments. What else could it really be?

“Hyung! I can’t breathe! Did you gain some weight recently?” Jeongin screeched.

There was a contagious smile on Minho’s face which may or may not have been because of the squirrel pendant birthday gift on Jisung he spent an hour looking for. There was a feeling of pride knowing the younger had decided to put it on straight away and refused to take it off.

He turned to Changbin who was currently holding a large cupcake with a candle poking unevenly out of it. After weeks of pleading, the other reaper had finally agreed to tag along with him, even if he was very _very_ against it all.

“Han Jisung?”

Minho didn’t have to hear the conversation between Sooyoung and Jisung to know what they were talking about. It was almost identical to when the nurse had to tell Jisung his parents couldn't make it last year. He just couldn’t stand looking at the kicked puppy expression on the human’s face.

After months of visiting both Jisung and Jeongin regularly, Minho had found out that both their parents had paid for their permanent stay at the hospital. It made sense after knowing that they were constantly getting re diagnosed after they were better, but he couldn't help notice their parents were never around. Jisung had muttered something about his own being rich and busy company executives before hurriedly moving the topic on, never to be touched again.

“Guess it’s just us this year then,” He announced as soon as he returned from Sooyoung, face no longer bright and energetic.

Changbin had stepped forward, perhaps to give some rare comfort to the human when the cupcake slipped from his loose grip. Everyone’s eyes fell on the mess splattered on the floor, mouth open in shock.

“You had one job,” Minho groaned, staring at the ruined icing in complete disappointment.

“At least it wasn't an actual cake,” Jeongin offered helpfully, laughing a little at the thought.

 

 

“Jisung?”

He didn’t even move this time, still in the same position in his bed since an hour ago. It hurt Minho to see Jisung like this, but there was little he could actually do. He wondered how Jeongin felt, trying to look past the smiles on his face he now knew weren’t always real.

Changbin had warned him not to get attached, he’d told him how humans were delicate and how easy it was to lose them. But it was Changbin, when did he ever listen to the short reaper? (“For the last time, I’m _not_ short.” “And pigs can fly.”)

Minho hoped Jisung would be up the next day. He kept that hope deep in his heart constantly, feeling relief whenever Jisung was. And if he felt himself hurt whenever Jisung wasn’t, if he looked into his eyes and just saw emptiness, he didn’t question it.

 

 

“Get off me!” Jeongin squealed, kicking his legs wildly as Jisung wrapped him in a tight hug.

“Never,” Jisung yelled back, laughing when the younger began to cringe at his response.

For the first time in weeks, Jisung was up. It felt good for Jeongin to have his best friend back, even better to see him smile. Minho watched the two from his spot on Jisung’s bed, grinning as he watched them.

Eventually Jeongin was released, rushing off to get milk and snacks for them all as quickly as he could. Minho gulped when he realised they were alone, getting up to his feet and gently holding Jisung’s hands.

“What are you doing?”

Jisung was uncharacteristically nervous, something that was adorable to Minho. The older just smiled, raising Jisung’s hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles softly. In the light, his pendant gleamed between them but Minho was entirely focused on the younger.

“I like you,” He finally declared, watching the red spread on Jisung’s face.

No one moved for a while, a silence taking over as Minho slowly let Jisung’s hand go.

“You don’t have to say anything back,” He reassured, “I just wanted you to know.”

Out of sheer embarrassment, Minho left, feeling light and buzzing. He bumped into Jeongin on the way out, face flushed and stuttering out an excuse to leave.

“What did you do to Minho?” Jeongin teased Jisung when he got back.

The older didn’t reply, eyes closed and body curled on his bed. Jeongin bit his lip, placing the milk cartons on a nearby desk. He didn’t like it when Jisung slept. Even less when he just… lay there.

“It’s getting a little dark,” He commented, knowing Jisung wouldn’t reply back, “Why don’t I pull the curtains for us?”

He moved around Jisung’s bed, freezing at the crunching under his feet. Jeongin looked down, gulping at the sight of pills scattered across the floor. A sea of white under his feet, all from a single bottle that lay ominously empty in Jisung’s hand.

Jeongin slowly looked at Jisung again, shaking as he called out his name.

“Hey, Hyung. Wake up.”

He shook Jisung’s body gently, the bottle slipping from his grip completely. Jeongin was beginning to panic now. The older’s face looked so much paler than usual- his lips were a tint blue and no matter how much he tried, Jeongin was struggling to find a pulse.

“Hyung, why are you still sleeping? Wake up!”

At one point he must have screamed because nurses were rushing into the room, everything a blur. He tried to cling onto Jisung’s hands only to be pushed away, watching helplessly in the corner of the room.

Jisung wouldn’t leave him. He couldn’t, not after their parents had abandoned them both in the hospital. Not after everything they’d gone through together. But watching it all happen, he wasn’t too sure. Not anymore.

“Please… Don’t leave me too...”

 

 

“Wow, Changbin….” Minho looked at his friend’s name on the caller ID one more time for clarification, “You know what a phone is?"

His stomach began to turn when Changbin didn’t reply something snarky back, remaining silent for a while before speaking.

“I don’t know how to tell you this.”

Minho tapped his foot on the floor anxiously, deciding to take a small break from all the paperwork.

“Hurry up if you can,” He glanced at the pile and groaned, “I’m kind of at work right now.”

“Yeah, I know. Me too.”

If Minho thought he was nervous before, he was _sure_ he was nervous now. Changbin rarely interrupted his work for anything, especially not when collecting ghosts and _never_ for Minho. They hardly even talked because he prioritised work so much.

“Look, Minho… I’m sorry.”

 

 

“It’s the first time I’m seeing you at work,” Jisung briefly looked around the room, “It suits you.”

Minho wanted to be angry. He wanted to lash out at the other but even now his heart was fluttering. Even now he still wanted to reach out and hug Jisung.

“Why?” He asked pathetically, gulping down the tears that threatened to release.

“Because it hurt so much.”

Jisung’s eyes had glazed over and it wasn’t fair. Minho was weak to the younger’s tears, he couldn’t stand watching him upset. He shouldn’t be allowed to cry when _he_ was the one who had left Minho behind.

“I was planning it for weeks,” He admitted, sounding so regretful,“Thinking about it for years. I just didn’t know you would confess to me the same day.”

_Minho wasn’t enough to save him._

“But you were getting better,” When Minho finally spoke again, his voice was smaller than usual, “I talked to Nurse Ha and she told me you might be released this time.”

The younger shook his head sadly like Minho didn’t understand. And he didn’t, probably never would.

“It hurt here,” Jisung’s voice cracked as he pointed to his heart, breaking Minho’s in the process, “I just wanted them to love me. Why didn’t they love me?”

The topic of parents was always difficult for Jisung. It didn’t take much for Minho to find out about Jisung online- about his perfectly healthy older brother his parents adored. About how little they acknowledged Jisung’s existence in interviews. About how they forgot about him completely.

“ _I_ love you,” Minho offered, knowing it was useless at this point.

Jisung only smiled, silent apologies in his eyes. He picked up his drink, giving a reluctant look to Minho.

“It’ll stop the hurting,” Minho reassured, now just wanting Jisung’s pain to be gone.

Even if it meant that Jisung would never remember him, he would do it again and again for him. The process seemed faster with Jisung there, but it might have just been Minho not wanting him to go.

“I’ll see you again,” Jisung sounded confident- so confident Minho almost believed him, “I can never forget all this, I promise.”

He grabbed the reaper’s hand one last time, closing his eyes and leaning in towards him. Minho closed his eyes but Jisung’s lips fell firmly on his cheek, the feeling perfect to him.

A year and a half ago, he was just getting to know Jisung. And just like that, their time was up. He was alone again.

 

 

SIX MONTHS LATER

“So, the newbie. Where is he…?”

Minho almost flinched at the glare Chan was sending him, knowing it was for something he didn’t know he had done. The melody of puking in the background wasn’t really helping either.

“You’re late,” Chan grumbled,glaring weakly at Minho who sunk in the chair opposite him. The other reaper only laughed, knowing his senior wasn’t really angry at him and discreetly looking around for his new student.

“There was some traffic,” He explained, fiddling with his black hat, “I just assumed that you’d be fine with ten minutes with the new… Stop giving me that look, you’re scaring me.”

That was a complete lie. After Jisung left him, he’d visited Jeongin more often, prioritising it over events like these. Whatever happened to Jisung, he couldn’t let Jeongin go through it. Anyone but him.

“I am so glad you’re the one in charge of him now,” Chan breathed out.

Minho snorted at Chan’s reaction, relaxing immediately as they fell into easy conversation. He hadn’t talked with his friend in a long time- at least, not since Chan had given his condolences. His story with the ‘human’ spread like wildfire in the reaper community- further evidence of how they were all destined to be alone. Of how human and reaper relations were _wrong_. Only he didn’t know _how_ everyone found out, Changbin being too antisocial to even _suspect_ it was his doing, but Minho didn’t care too much.

“Finally, they’re cutting down the amount of work I have to do.” He smiled as he began to sip on his own freshly ordered cup of coffee, trying not to be bothered by the three empty cups by Chan’s side, “I mean, it’s just a new reaper, I see them all the time.  How hard could it actually be to train one?”

The toilet door swung open and Minho froze.

“I think I was sick enough for it go away- never mind.”

Minho’s heart hurt again, throbbing like the remaining pieces he had glued together had just shattered all at once. Jisung was still so beautiful.

“Hey, are you…?”

He turned to Chan, eyes sparkling with tears and Jisung’s name on the tip of his tongue.

  
“ _Oh_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the tragedy of Han Jisung and Minho. This is why we say no to suicide... There will be one less heartbroken Minho in the world. 
> 
> Okay, so lecture over. Hope you enjoyed that mess.


	9. Let go

Minho stopped shaking in Jisung’s arms, cheeks finally dry but eyes still wet. It was strange being the one held. Being the one cared for- cared _about_. From Jisung it was addictive, so easy to get used to.

If he wasn’t careful, he wouldn’t be able to let go.

“I thought I could at least save Jeongin,” Minho admitted after a while, shaking his head defeatedly, “I was wrong.”

Jisung remained silent next to him, sniffing occasionally and holding onto Minho almost desperately. It felt selfish, him leaving a mess behind after his death, all because it was hard too for him. Maybe Minho wouldn’t have cried if he never died. And Jeongin- young, innocent Jeongin- would he still be alive?

“I’m an idiot.”

Minho nodded, rolling his eyes at Jisung. Since living with him, the younger had gone on a wild goose chase for nothing, oblivious to Minho’s lovestruck expression the whole time.

“An idiot would be an understatement,” He mumbled, laughing weakly at Jisung’s little gasp.

“ _I'm sorry_.”

Minho grabbed his hand tightly, intertwining their fingers. They fit together comfortably, like they had done it a thousand times before. 

“I know.”

If Jisung noticed Minho tightening his hold around him, he didn’t say a word.

“It was the past,” He refused to meet the younger reaper’s eyes, “This is the present. Just… don’t leave me this time.”

Jisung felt his heart throb again, still managing to hurt the older without meaning to. And then there was Minho, taking it all just to see Jisung smile. Maybe it was _his_ turn to finally protect Minho. To make him feel loved.

The older reaper felt his heart stop a little when Jisung raised his hand towards him, kissing his knuckles gently. He was feeling so reminiscent of the past, of a time no one was hurting.

“I like you,” Jisung confessed, smile bright and shy.

The Minho’s head shot upwards, unable to speak at the certainty in Jisung’s eyes. The feeling was overwhelming. Years of longing for the boy who had forgotten him was finally worth it because Jisung was finally here.

“No,” He took a step closer to Minho, “I love you.”

Minho’s shaking fingers rested on Jisung’s cheek gently, like he had to be sure Jisung was actually there. The younger nuzzled into his hand with an exhale of relief, leaning in towards him.

And this time he didn’t aim for the cheek.

“I’ll keep my promise from now on hyung,” his voice was gentle, lips now pinker and slightly swollen, “Guess you’re stuck with me now. Think you can handle it?”

Minho scoffed, leaning in for another kiss. 

He was more than ready.

 

 

Changbin tried to ignore everything in front of him, but it was really hard when Jisung was blatantly glaring at him. Besides him, Felix kept glancing between the two like a loyal puppy about to lash out on anyone who threatened their owner.

“You knew all along,” Jisung whined, pointing a finger accusingly at Changbin, “Why didn't you tell me?”

The oldest reaper pushed the finger down, ruffling Felix’s head when he looked at Changbin with pure confusion.

“It was never my story to tell,”He defended, taking a sip of his favourite pink drink, “Besides, you know now.”

“Yeah after three buckets of tears from both parties!”

Changbin just shrugged in nonchalance, going back to staring out the window. Jisung gasped, feeling slightly offended. He took an angry bite from his muffin in annoyance, narrowing his eyes at the older.

“Oh I see Mr ‘I-don’t-feel-any-emotions-because-I’m-a-robot’,” Jisung began, waving his muffin around and leaving crumbs everywhere, “Just wait until you need _my_ expertise, and I might just decide not to give it to you.”

“That’ll be the day.”

The most outraged noise escaped Jisung’s mouth, syllables stuttering out meaninglessly. He was silenced at the sight in front of him, mouth wide open in shock. Was Changbin…

“Are you smiling?”

The older reaper immediately stopped, awkwardly reaching out for his drink.

“Cute right?” Felix smiled fondly, love hearts practically embedded in his eyes, “He looks even cuter when he’s blushing.”

Before Felix could even finish, the oldest reaper’s face went scarlet, eyes wide in horror at the younger’s words. Jisung’s mouth fell open a little, not expecting such a strong reaction from Changbin and grinning at the thought of everything going between the pair when he wasn’t there. He would have to ask Felix about that next time.

“Don’t say things like that in public,” Changbin growled out but his words had no real edge to them.

This would definitely be interesting to hear about.

 

 

“Hey Woojin hyung.”

Jisung had spoken before actually looking inside the shop, finding himself pleasantly surprised at the sight of Chan. The pair looked flustered, like they were just caught doing something wrong. By their behaviour alone, Jisung wondered what they were up to.

But considering the fact that both were awkwardly standing at opposite sides of the room and how Chan looked positively dazed, maybe Jisung was better off not knowing.

“Oh, Jisung,” Woojin’s voice was unusually uneven, the older clearing his throat before continuing, “I didn’t expect to see you.”

 _Clearly_ , Jisung wanted to reply but he decided not to be a brat today and save him the embarrassment till next time.

“I’m actually here as a customer,” He revealed, taking out a few notes.

It turned out reapers would take money from funerals for the deceased, something he was very morally uncomfortable with until Minho had told him that was how he was paying the rent. If _he_ was the one guiding the dead, taking the unused money _might_ be fine after all, right?

“What’s the occasion?” Woojin asked, picking out the larger pieces of chicken for Jisung.

“He’s becoming a mentor today,” Chan answered instead, smiling softly at the thought, “A few weeks ago Minho was still his mentor and now it’s his turn.”

Jisung laughed at how old Chan made him sound.

“What can I say, I learned from the best.”

On his way out the store, Jisung began to hum to himself happily, knowing nothing could ruin his day. He licked his lips as the scent of chicken wafted into his nostrils, not noticing the two giants in front of him when-

He cursed as his bag of chicken nearly scattered across the floor, one of the two apologising profusely as soon as he had realised what had just happened. Jisung reassured the other for a consistent ten seconds before glancing at his friend desperately.

They looked a little familiar, but Jisung didn’t have any time to care right now. He had to rush home (his and Minho’s apartment they now had joint ownership over) before meeting up with Chan later on. Although, Chan didn’t look like he wasn’t planning on leaving Woojin anytime soon.

“Come on Hyunjin,” The other whined, sounding suspiciously goat like as he dragged the pretty-boy further into the store, “You’re bothering him.”

 _Kids these days_ , Jisung thought to himself, ignoring the part of his mind that told him they were probably around the same age. _I wonder if the person I’m training will be like them_.

 

 

It was nearly time for him to meet Chan, but Jisung decided the older could wait a few minutes.

He stood in the graveyard for a while, black hat secured on to remove any chances of someone seeing him. It may have been because he was a reaper, but it was a calming place for him, a perfect location considering how it was the only view you could see from his new work place. That and also the fact that he could see-

“Sorry we’re late Jisung.”

His head perked up at the voice, smiling fondly at the young man carrying flowers in his hands. A few seconds later an older couple caught up with him, their clothes elegant and hair beginning to whiten.

“You practically ran here,” The older woman sighed, slightly out of breath, “Jisung would still be waiting for us even if you didn't.”

“I know _Omma,_ ” He whined, “I just really wanted to tell him about my day. First day in the company, of course I wanna tell my baby brother.”

The older man- his father- gestured at the flowers still in his son’s hand, “Give him the flowers first then. I think he’ll like today’s ones.”

He dramatically gasped in realisation, laying them gently in front of a large tombstone and fixing them a little when they were out of place. Jisung watched quietly, listening as his brother rambled on about how he’d accidentally spilled coffee all over a poor coworker.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow if she’s still mad at me,” He promised, “Sorry we can’t stay any longer today, but we’re getting guests round today. Boring right?”

Jisung nodded despite knowing no-one could see him. The other got up to his feet, a tinge of regret on his face.

“Bye ‘Sung.”

Sometimes Jisung wanted to actually reply back, wanted one of them to look at _him_ and not his grave, but he was always careful to stop himself. Seeing them didn’t hurt anymore like it did when he first stumbled past his tombstone, the memories gone but the faintest feelings of pain still there.

But now all he could feel was love- Concrete evidence that they did in fact care about him and that maybe they always had.

“Love you baby bro.”

Jisung watched them leave before he slid his hat off his head, picking up the flowers and breathing in the beautiful scent.

“Yeah,” He whispered back, "Me too."

 

 

"Aren't you late?" 

Jisung cursed a little before flinging the box of chicken onto a table, dropping everything else he had on the floor and giving Minho a little kiss on his cheek. He rushed to the toilet and minutes later practically ran out, putting his coat back on again.

"I really need to get a watch," He groaned, looking around for his hat he'd dropped somewhere.

"Oh, you'd never guess what," Minho got up to his feet to stand next to Jisung, the amusement clear on his expression, "I found out who spread the rumours about me. Overheard the jerk boasting about it when he was a little drunk on the streets- but seriously, who get's drunk in the _morning_?"

Minho was sweet- the best type of boyfriend anyone could ever want. But there were times Jisung really just wanted him to read the atmosphere in the room and shut up.

"Who?" He asked anyway, now searching under the cushions for his stupid black hat.

"Remember Reaper 142?"

If Minho wanted Jisung's attention, he's definitely had it now, because  _seriously_. That guy? The old man from the Gathering neither of the two really liked.

"The rumours were wrong anyway," the younger reaper huffed, crossing his arms.

Next to him Minho looked positively confused.

"What do you mean?" he asked, "You did kind of die in the end and I did end up alone. You know, human cursed to die, reaper is punished with eternal isolation?"

"Nope!" Jisung wrapped his arms around Minho and grinned, "I mean yeah, the dying part came true but that was probably just chance. You literally made friends with someone in the hospital, what did you expect? Anyway, that's beside my point. What I'm trying to say is that you have me now. Not exactly alone anymore, are we?"

The older couldn't help but remember the first time Jisung had told him that, wondering why he reacted so angrily when he was right. He wasn't alone. Not anymore.

"Now," Jisung looked under a table for the second time and cursed yet again, "Where is my hat?"

Minho reached over his head and picked up the hat that was on it, Jisung flushing a little in realisation.

"O-oh. Yeah, right. On my head, make sense."

Chan was definitely there by now, most likely with the new reaper. Maybe if he ran to the cafe he wouldn't be as late?

 

 

“You’re late.”

Chan had just finished his third glass of water, shaking his head as Jisung collapsed in his seat. He was panting heavily, saying something about traffic but it was honestly hard to tell from how hard he was breathing.

“So, where are they?” Jisung finally asked once he could speak properly again.

“He went to the toilet,” Chan told him, gesturing at the door, “And he’s _not_ being sick in there.”

Jisung spluttered in response, crossing his arms while huffing.

“Don’t blame me, blame the banana.”

They sat in a comfortable silence, Jisung occasionally glancing at Chan until the older had enough.

“Okay, what is it?”

Jisung placed his hat on the table, fingers lining the edges of it gently.

“I’ve had a question on my mind,”  He began, “And I don’t think anyone else can answer it. When I first saw Minho- when I was human, apparently I could see him even with his hat on… But how?”

Chan sighed like he knew so much more than he could ever let on. He probably did, not that Jisung would ever know.

“When you were human, you decided to take your life,” He began to explain, “All that time building up to it, physically you were still alive, but inside you gave up on living. You were as alive as a walking corpse, able to see those as dead as yourself.”

Jisung shivered at the imagery and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“But with that logic, everyone suicidal would be able to see ghosts and reapers.”

He watched Chan smile slowly, shaking his head at the same time.

“You lived in a hospital,” He reminded him, “There’s a reason we reapers like working there. Somewhere both life and death is amplified- you’re either dead or alive. No inbetween, except there was you.”

Jisung gulped, “Me?”

“You became like us,” He told him, “Alive outside, dead inside. Both extremes amplified until you were on the brink of life and death. A human reaper if you will.”

“A human reaper,” Jisung repeated, running the thought through his head one more time before responding, “Impossible.”

There was a strange glint in Chan’s eyes he couldn’t help but notice.

“Nothing is impossible.”

The toilet doors opened, a young boy walking out of it. Jisung’s eyes widened in shock, utterly speechless for a short while. Gone was the beanie, gone was the braces and on his head grew a thick layer of black hair Jisung thought he would never see.

“Hey hyung.”

This time, it was going to be okay.

“Hey Jeongin.”

Jisung was sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it! The end... of Minsung's story. Remember, there is still Changlix, Woochan, Seungjin (who i will include more of next time!) and maybe even Jeongin  
> I have REALLY important exams coming up the next two months (cri) so I won't be able to do anything until after then, BUT after that we'll focus on Changlix's reaper story! (yay!)


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